Gay men and pretentiousness often go hand in hand these days.....or so it seems.

So last night I had dinner with my partner and a friend of his, who brought along his maybe boyfriend, or something, whatever you an call it.  One of them is in late 40's, and the other is maybe 23 years old.  At one time they considered themselves boyfriends.  But now only the 23 year old thinks they are still boyfriend, whereas the older one thinks of them as friends.  The older one seems to only like young guys, and not for  very long period of time, or so it seems to me.

So they were quite suprised that I was there, as usually I don't go.  Usually my partner doesn't invite me.

So I wasn't going to go, but figured, I would.  Mostly because I had a mental image the of young guy being buff and toned.  For some reason I pictured him "male model" material.

So you can imagine my surprise when I set down and looked at him and realized he was just average looks and a little on the rolly polly side, not that I have any room to talk mind you, but it just shows how the mind can play tricks on one's self.

Apparently the young one is from Michigan and a bit arrogant in thinking that Michigan is better than Indiana. But if my memory serves me correctly, and I wanted to tell him this but wasn't sure of my facts, the Michigan Supreme Court ruled against domestic partnership, and at least Indiana hasn't done this.  So give Indiana some extra points in this area.

So mostly I observed them, this couple, we had dinner with.  And it reminded me so much of nearly all the gay guys I have ever met, that live for drama and pretentiousness.  Especially when they have neither, but only think they do. 

I wonder why this is?  Is it from those who lived in secret and fear of being found out as a gay man?  Up till the point that a gay guy comes out of the preverbial "closet".  Something before then that shapes them into thinking their lifes are more interesting and important than they actually are?

That's the main reason I don't go out to the "bars" any more.  It's so funny to see somebody giving you the once over, while wearing clothes that a homeless person would have to much pride to wear.  I usually just look at them for one second and give a small smile that says, "stay away, don't bother me".  This usually happens any time I go into the Metro.  The only other bar I would go to is "Greg's", and I haven't been in there for many years. 

When I would go to the bars, alone, I always seemed to attract guys who I would later find out are what we call drama queens, and/or pretentious,  liar, unemployed, alcoholic, drug user, mental problems, and often a combination of one or more of these catagories. 

Reminds me of one of my first "offical" dates that I had maybe a year after I came out at the age of 23.  I met thig guy, not sure how I met him, and he invited me over for dinner.  After dinner we were having a nice chat, so I thought, and he steered the conversation to a upcoming trip to California.  And he mentioned that he would be meeting a lot of Hollywood stars, and that one of them would be Neil Diamond because he is gay and his wife know it.  Now I could tell immediately he was lying to me, so I fugured I would follow this out, and then he mentioned he was staying at Jon and Barbara's ranch.  And I knew he was talking about Barbara Streisand and her boyfriend at the time (early 1980's) Jon Peters. 

So I let him talk on and on, and finally he looked at me and said he was talking about Barbara Streisand and I said "of course".  So he rattled on and on about this for a good 15 minutes and then I looked at my watch and said, " Oh dear, it's getting late and I have to work tomorrow so I better head home".  Then I said the usual things about how nice dinner was and that I hoped he enjoyed his trip, and that we would have to get together again after he returns.  But I never contacted him again. And I don't think he contacted me either, at least I don't remember him doing so. 

He knew he was lying to me, and he knew that I knew he was lying.  So really, no point of further contact.

And he was the first, of a long list of gay guys, that I would meet over the next 4 years, that would tell me they had direct connections to the rich, to the Hollywood movie stars, to the elite of the New York City social scene, from Truman Copote, to Liza Minnelli.
Except for my partner Mark.

One night in February of 1983 I met Mark, for the 2nd time, and asked him out on a date, and we now have been together for 27 years, well next month it will be 27 years. 

But still, when I try to make new gay friends, it's back to the way it was before I met Mark.

Some things, at least for me, most likely will never change.

Maybe for me that is the way it's suppose to be?